DEMAND Series, Part 2: Who's Buying?
By Lee Ellen Starks, Office Manager & Stacy Elliott, Community Engagement Coordinator
Who’s buying sex, that is? Sex buyers are commonly called “johns.” Studies show that most johns are in fact biologically male. In a study done by Demand Abolition, over 8,000 across the US were polled and while 20% had bought sex once in their lifetime, only 6.2% of respondents had bought sex in the past year.(1) This points to the likelihood that there is a small percentage of men that purchase a lion’s share of sex to fuel a thriving business of exploitation and trafficking. One also must consider if those polled submitted truthful answers for the study or not.
According to the same study, there is almost no set profile for a sex buyer other than that they are biologically male. They cross all races, sexual orientations, career types, etc., but one thing we can note is that buying a high volume of sex typically requires a surplus of income. The definition of human trafficking includes “when anything of value is exchanged” for sex. So, someone doesn’t necessarily have to have extra cash on hand to be a sex buyer. That person may simply exchange something of value (including but not limited to money, drugs, alcohol, a place to stay, protection and/or food) for sex.
So who’s buying? The short answer is mostly males* of all walks of life that have a larger income and/or something of value to exchange. Since it is a habit often practiced secretly, it is difficult to ascertain an accurate percentage of how many men are consuming. When purchasing sex is illegal in the United States except for a few counties in Nevada, why take the risk?
Why Buy?
Since only 6% of johns who have purchased sex illegally report having ever been arrested for it, there are little to no social or legal consequences so why not take the chance and buy? Historically, it’s ironic that the perpetrators of demand for prostitution are not being arrested, while prostitutes who are very often the victims of human trafficking bear the legal and social consequences. The arrest of prostitutes has declined in Tennessee in recent years due to legislative advocacy for survivors, but there is still work to do to enforce and increase punitive action for those illegally purchasing sex. If purchasing sex is given a pass by society and law enforcement as “taking care of their needs” or “just having some fun,” it is unlikely men will be deterred from continuing this activity. One initiative addressing Demand locally is Nashville Human Trafficking Court’s John School program where first-time offenders can attend a one-day class and potentially get this arrest record expunged. End Slavery Tennessee provides a volunteer to give a presentation about the role of human trafficking in prostitution to those in attendance. Three of the four scheduled class dates so far in 2021 have all been cancelled, not due to COVID-19 but due to no johns signing up for the class.
As much as our society glorifies sex, we have somehow maintained that purchasing in-person sex is still not openly accepted. However, purchasing pornography subscriptions seems to not only be accepted, but praised by the public at large, especially evident in the entertainment industry. Research has consistently shown that buying sex (which includes viewing pornography because you are choosing, whether for free or via subscription, to view sex) negatively affects the way men talk about and view women. In the Demand Abolition study linked above, non-buyers were more likely to say that purchasing someone for sex treated females as objects, where active sex buyers would say they were just “taking care of their needs.” In a study referenced in a Fight the New Drug article, the findings revealed this about the male participants: “Basically, the automatic reaction in their brains suggested that they didn’t perceive the sexualized women as fully human, rather they saw them as objects, focusing on their bodies and body parts.”(2) If pornography encourages the objectification of women, and most sex buyers watch porn, this indicates a connection between the two. For more information on the intersectionality between pornography and human trafficking, please check out the research done by Fight the New Drug.
In a book titled The Johns by Victor Malarek, the author did extensive research on johns.(3) He set up fake profiles in chat rooms specifically for sex buyers to learn more about these men. Some johns boast in the chat rooms about their conquests and their annual sex tourism trips. Married johns share about the views they have regarding “what type of sex is acceptable with a partner or wife.” Many on this site agreed that wives and girlfriends should only do, “Normal sex... kinky sex is too dirty: practicing it with his wife would make her a _____.” I think you can imagine what word went there. The johns also tend to highlight that they get exactly what they want from start to finish when purchasing, which is not always the case in a real relationship. Some johns are lonely sex buyers who have been rejected over and over by women or simply choose to be single. They may find a relationship to be a lot more work than just buying sex when they want their “needs” met. One john says, “It’s a lot cheaper, easier to get, and involves less emotional baggage than a date.” As mentioned by the sex buyer interviewed in ESTN’s Someone Like Me podcast, all of the reasons to purchase sex further objectify women in the eye of the buyer.
“Our findings show sex buying not only as an individual behavior, but also as a cultural phenomenon that can be passed down generationally and reinforced by social networks that accept sex buying as normal,” a quote from the Demand Abolition study.(1) This will be discussed in another blog within this series about how culturally we are supporting rather than extinguishing demand, whether that be through music, tv shows, movies, social media, or other internet presence.
Why Stop Buying?
Many who have purchased sex stated they do not want to do it again. Perhaps writing off every sex buyer as a monster that will never change is a correct characterization for some. But from a mental health standpoint, it’s interesting to consider what factors led to the decision to buy sex. For instance, there seems to be a huge deficit of true intimacy in modern society. Counterfeit intimacy is for sale and rings up cheaper on the register.
We are not only talking about just sexual intimacy. People are widely disconnected today, whether that be due to COVID isolation, too much social media screen time, or a million other ways society unplugs us from connectedness to other humans.
What are ways we can build more connectivity and healthy intimacy especially with men today? What resources do johns have to even begin to rehabilitate this addictive behavior? We know that pornography is addictive. Thankfully, there are numerous programs for recovering sex addicts. The sex buyer we interviewed in our podcast states that joining a sex addiction program is the only way he was able to stop. According to Integrative Life Center, a local treatment center, “Often sex addiction or compulsive sexual behavior results from unresolved trauma or attachment wounds.”(4) Though it may seem counterintuitive in an organization fighting human trafficking, End Slavery Tennessee would not be fully trauma-informed without looking at johns through a trauma lens as well. What trauma might be at the root of this behavior?
Since purchasing sex is often a secretive habit with a “wink-wink-nudge-nudge” generational norm, men who challenge the cultural expectations to participate and indulge can be shamed for a perceived lack of masculinity. Where can men who are not satisfied with the status quo have honest, non-judgmental conversations? Washington State has a 10-week program called Stopping Sexual Exploitation (SSE) that can be mandatory for johns as part of their sentencing. According to an article in the Bellevue Reporter, “The group-based program consists of an education component, which explores how “manhood” is learned in society and the impacts it has. The back end of the program is focused on creating the tools to build healthy, fulfilling relationships.”(5) Could this type of requirement possibly make a difference in our communities? It would be interesting to find out what would happen if Tennessee’s one-day optional John School program for first-time offenders transitioned to a required 10-week program for all offenders.
At this point, many might be asking “What can I do?” so here are a few ways to get started.
Action Items:
Speak to men (especially youth) about valuing women and seeking true intimacy in all aspects of life from an early age. Contradict the societal norms of promoting porn and the myths surrounding prostitution/strip clubs/massage parlors.
Bold men are needed to be the voice to our generation. Stand up against these societal norms in public and in the locker room.
In current Tennessee statutes, patronizing prostitution (purchasing sex) is a class A misdemeanor.(6) Buyers should be arrested, and laws should be enforced. Research programs for johns and consider the pros and cons of requiring mandatory programs for all offenders.
Contrary to widespread belief, shaming sex buyers is not as effective at modifying behavior as treatment. Breaking the law has consequences but shaming tends to keep survivors in cycles of exploitation by encouraging secrecy and avoiding getting help.
If you struggle with sex addiction, pornography addiction, or are tempted to purchase sex, take steps to get help. Find a supportive, nonjudgmental community that can listen and walk with you through addiction and/or develop meaningful, healthy relationships.
If you are part of a faith community especially as a leader, begin to have honest conversations to address dynamics that may be uncomfortable but necessary to bring healing.
UP NEXT: In the DEMAND Series Part 3 will discuss where johns are buying. Please continue to read about the current marketplace for sex sales and how to decrease demand via internet presence.
*Note from the Editor: I want to take a moment to remind readers that not all sex buyers are men and not all sex workers are women but this is most of what End Slavery Tennessee observes at this time. As more is understood and new avenues to recognize human trafficking are forged, it is expected that other trends will emerge.
(1) Who Buys Sex? (2018). Demand Abolition. https://www.demandabolition.org/who-buys-sex/
(2) Fight the New Drug. How Porn Can Normalize Sexual Objectification. https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-can-normalize-sexual-objectification/
(3) Malarek, V. (2009). The Johns: Sex for Sale and the Men Who Buy It.
(4) Sex Addiction Treatment in Nashville, TN. Integrative Life Center. https://integrativelifecenter.com/therapy/sex-addiction-treatment/.
(5) Hiruko, A. (2019). Twelve arrested in police prostitution sting. Bellevue Reporter. https://www.bellevuereporter.com/news/twelve-arrested-in-police-prostitution-sting/.
(6) WomensLaw.org. https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/tn/statutes/39-13-514-patronizing-prostitution